The Holidays are coming Too Soon! !

I can hardly believe that it is November 19th today. Where has the time gone? I have done so many wonderful things this year! I'm excited for the hoildays to be around the corner. The lights, trees, and the all the talk of Jesus is always wonderful this time of year! I got lucky and am off for Christmas! I'm training on Days Team with SRU until the end of the year! It's going okay, I am not a fan of being someones subortinate though! School is on break, at least online....I am in a Chemistry class at Cincinnati State.....it seems like it will be okay, just a lot of busy work as usual! Kevin and I are doing well. We just returned from Las Vegas for my aunts wedding. We had a great time! He is almost ready to move into his house....boy it's been a long project but it is going to be SOO nice. I can't wait, I'm so excited for him. He has worked so hard in his life for this time to come.....he deserves it!

With Thanksgiving just one week away I am let to ponder the many things I have to be thankful for in life. My health, my family, Kevin, my friends, my job......so many things. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with such an awesome life. He truly did and does have good things in store for me.

It seems like everyone I know is pregnant or getting married these days. It makes me happy for them but sad because it is not me. I want nothing more than to be a wife and a mother some day. I know I would be so good at it! Patience....good things come to those who wait.....I hear ya, I trust you Lord!

A Stone in the Path

It is said that through this life we are walking down a path. Sometimes it winds, and bends, sometimes it is an easy walk, while other times it seems all uphill and sometimes there are pebbles or stones in the way. I have had one amazing year in 2010. I've been blessed with an awesome job, have traveled to many places this year, Kevin and I are in a great place, I've started school for my BSN and am truly at a great place in my life. I have lost 26lbs in the last 3 months and am at an all time awesome fitness level and have been eating an awesome healthy diet. SO....for my stone. I had my annual check up yesterday. I got some not so great test results. I do not know too much at this point, but I know enough to be concerned. I now have to see a Cardiologist (heart doctor) and a Nephrologist (kidney doctor) for further investigation on some things that came up. Please pray for me. The long term effects of high dose chemotherapy and intense radiation to my abdomen and chest are starting to show their faces and I don't like it. I know that God has great plans for me and that He is protecting me.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as a pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding ....in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

Lord....I trust you, and I know this stone is just a pebble in your eyes, help me to continue to praise you through this storm!

Childhood Cancer Awareness

Here is a quiz for you. . . October is ________ Cancer Awareness Month. To show your support you wear what color on Fridays?

I’ll bet that every adult and child in the U.S. would be able to provide the correct answers. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Pink is the color to wear on Fridays to show your support.

My aunt had breast cancer several years ago. I fully support any and all efforts to eliminate breast cancer from the lives of women. It is a terrible disease that has cut the lives of many adult women too short. It has prematurely taken daughters, wives, mothers, aunts and grandmothers from their families.

Quiz #2: September is _________Cancer Awareness. To show your support you wear what color?

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. You are supposed to wear yellow/gold to show your support. Did you know that cancer is the number one killer disease in our children?

My parents knew when I was born that she was special. Little did I know that I would be ‘the one.’

I was ‘the one’ in 300 children who will be diagnosed with cancer before the age of 20. I was ‘the one’ in the 1.1 million children to be diagnosed with Wilm's Tumor. I was one of the 40,000 children who had to fight cancer.

My parents were forced to wonder if I be one of the 3000 children who die from cancer.

Cancer, whether you are an adult or a child is devastating. It is certainly not my attempt to minimize any cancer or to prioritize any life. Life is precious. But my problem is just that-- ALL life is precious. And if ALL life is precious, why is there minimal funding and virtually no recognition for childhood cancer and research?

When I talk about childhood cancer, I can put faces to names. Want a list? I can give you twenty kiddos off the top of my head who are battling cancer. I can see little faces, skinny bodies and bald heads. I can give you at least a dozen more names of children who have earned their wings in the past year.

Here is food for thought. The National Cancer Institute (NCI) is responsible for the federal funding for childhood cancer. Funds are distributed to investigators at children’s hospitals, to the Children’s Oncology Group and to labs in the NCI to fund research.

Congress is responsible for coming up with a budget to fund the research. Cancer research is budgeted at 5.6 billion dollars for 2009. Sounds like a lot doesn’t it? Of that breast cancer received 12%, prostate cancer received 7% and all 12 major groups of pediatric cancers combined received less that 3%.

To put this into perspective NCI allotted 572.4 million dollars for breast cancer research in 2007. Other NIH institutes funded breast cancer research at 132.6 million and the Dept of Defense allocated 138 million dollars. That is over 800 million dollars in funding. That does not take into account funds raised through campaigns and donations which totaled over 250 million dollars. (info pulled from Candlelighters.org)

So with my limited math ability, 572+132+138+250 = well. . . something like $1 billion dollars for breast cancer research.

In 2007, the NCI reported that the combined extramural and intramural funding for childhood cancer research was approximately $180 million. However, this estimate could be regarded as liberal as some of the associated research might not be perceived as directly benefiting childhood cancer. Other more conservative estimates, put childhood cancer research funding as low as $30 million annually. (cited from Candlelighters.org)

Breast Cancer research = $1 billion dollars

Childhood Cancer research = somewhere between $30 million and $180 million.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Money drives research and research drives survival rates.

My bottom line as a childhood cancer survivor is--

I am thankful that I lived through it!.

I want my fight to matter to someone.

I want my struggle as a survivor to matter to someone.

I want someone to take notice and help these kids I take care of everyday.

I want my community and your community to start supporting research in this area.

Pink in October is wonderful! It is necessary but I want to see yellow in September.
I want to hear that ‘real men wear yellow’.
I want my yogurt container to have a yellow lid.
I want the students in my school district to wear hats on Fridays and donate the money to help fund childhood cancer research. I want celebrities like Ellen to sell yellow shirts in September to promote the cause.
I want to see professional sports teams sporting yellow in September.
I want to have the option to buy a yellow ‘childhood cancer’ magnetic ribbon at my local pharmacy to plaster on my vehicle.

There are things that can be done. . . I am just one person. I need the rest of you to find something that you can do in your community to make a difference in the lives of children. Many of you have your own children. . . imagine if cancer invaded your life. . . imagine if there was a cure out there but no money to find it.

Had this issue been addressed years ago, maybe, just maybe the cancer unit at our hospital wouldn't have a waiting list. Unfortunately so many kiddos are running out of options. Few options mean little hope in their fight against cancer.

Again: Money drives research which drives increase survival rates. . .

Continue to wear your pink and send in your yogurt label, but please help me and the millions of kids fighting cancer by taking some kind of action to support research and funding of childhood cancer.

(Written/Adapted with permission of Katie Clayton, mother of a child with cancer)

What a difference One Year Makes!

A year ago I was so worried about passing my boards.....now I sit here and I've been a nurse for almost a year! AND, the best part is that I am back on A5. I love it here. I know that this is truly where I was called. There is something about these bald-headed, chubby cheek little kids that just melt my heart. And to see them smile....takes your breath away. They are so brave and so strong, much more so than they should ever have to be. I wonder how my parents did it. It just breaks my heart again and again. I still follow all the kids I took care of a year ago, I read their pages, send cards to families who have lost their child or chilren and pray. Most importantly, I pray. I have learned so much in my first year of nursing, I love it! It is such an amazing thing to be a part of....to take care of a child and a family when their child is sick. I know I touch them, I leave every morning just knowing I made a difference! It is such an awesome feeling knowing that THIS is what my calling is, I'm living it everyday! God sure knew what He was doing when He saved me from cancer and called me back from it to take care of kids going through it! It is incredible! I pray that I can continue to be a blessing to these kids, that somehow, each day, I can make them smile. That is my reward, just knowing that I made a difference in one childs life!

One Great Weekend!

So, I've been feeling rather friendly lately and I just had an awesome weekend! God is so good at knowing just what you need and when. SO....Friday night, Kevin was headed out with his guy friends and I was just going to sit alone at home. Then, my friend, Laura, calls out of the blue and invites me to a girls night at her sisters.....and even picks me up. It was amazing that I wasn't doing anything and just perfect timing. We enjoyed wine, apps and games, just girls and it was so much fun! Saturday, Kevin and I went to a benefit dinner with the family I used to nanny for.....it was such a great time and for a good cause as well. THEN, Sunday we were invited to a 40th b-day party. It was at a friend's house, they had a pool and rented a dunk tank and a bouncy thing for the kids, it was a blast! It was such a great weekend......I felt like I had friends and stuff to do! God has blessed me!

Baby Love

There is something about the love you feel when you are around infants and babies. Tonight I was trying to give some parents a break at the hospital and had the honor of snuggling with a 6 week old baby. He was so content and happy to be wrapped up tightly in my arms. You could just feel the happiness bursting out of him. Babies are so sweet and innocent. Not a care in the world, they just simply be. There is just nothing better than to snuggle with a sleeping baby. I love babies and enjoy the opportunities where I get to be around them. I cannot wait to one day have one of my own to love. It will be such a long awaited blessings.

Moving On.....

Well, many of you may know, (or not) that Kevin has decided to purchase a home for himself. Now, he already owns one home.....a 2 family in Hyde Park, and actually is in the process of closing on another home (a recent flip) in Deer Park. But recently he has decided to purchase a "real" home for himself. This one is a diamond in the ruff......it is a foreclosure property (his specialty) and perfect in every way except for needing some work and some loving! It's nestled in Kenwood, just a half a mile from the mall. It has 4bdrms, 3 baths, a two car garage and all in all about 2400 sq ft. It has a great yard (plenty big for the pool I dream about one day) and one of it's best features, is that it is in the award winning, Indian Hill School District. This was a steal. The homes in the area are going roughly $90,000-$110,000 MORE than what he purchased this home for. The neighborhood is so cute. I just love it! AND, I know what he can do, his flips are all rags to riches kind of things! I'm so excited for him. He works so hard to be where he is today and deserves this home and so much more. You can tell he is excited about it as well. Of course, I can't help but hope that this is the home we will one day raise a family in......but, that is a whole other story! Kevin is such a great man, who has spent most of his life working very hard to have what he has. And, he has such a big heart and helps people that he knows and loves out in huge ways. I'm so blessed to have him in my life. I do believe the words of that song, "God blessed the broken road, that lead me straight to you....." Because He has. I have been through a lot with love and such.....but I think God knew what he was doing when he put us two together. I'm so happy and so blessed!! I've included a picture of the home, now.....just you wait.....in 6-8 weeks from now, I will post the finished product and it won't even look like the same home!!

Life can be Lonely

For a few months now, I've been feeling rather lonely. I have Kevin and I love spending time with him. I have my family and his and they are all great. But lonely in friendships. My very best friends in the whole world live states away and it far and view between that I get to see them. And with everyones busy and hectic schedules, it sometimes goes a month without even talking on the phone. I have one good friend here in Cincy, Amy and we get together at least twice a month, but she has kids and I can't call her up on a moments notice to hang out or just come over. I miss Jessica and I miss Missy. But I espcially miss being able to be with them. Good, true, authentic frienships are hard to come by and we all if we are blessed have a few. They are mine. I have other friends, you know, "surface friends" who you just talk about surface stuff and never anything deep or meaningful. And then there are the one way friendships....they trust you with everything but you know you can't really count on them. I wonder sometime why I don't have many friends. I literally do not have one friend that I can call out of the blue to hang out with.....or have a slumber party with, or go out and shop with. It's been making me feel extremely lonely lately. A few weeks ago, Kevin dyed my hair for me because I didn't have any friends that could do it for me. I told him he is not only my boyfriend, but my best friend as well. And he is. But a girl needs some girlfriends! I know Kevin didn't enjoy dying my hair....he just did it because he loves me and I cried to him about it. I'm sure he wishes I had more friends as well. He is just so outgoing and can get along with anyone. I am outgoing but have trouble finding people who are where I am in life. Most of my friends have kids and families and they come first (understandably so!) I just wish Kevin and I had another couple to hang out with. I'm feeling depressed about it. A few weeks ago while driving to SC, we were driving thru NC where Jessica lives. I cried for a good hour because I wanted so badly to stop and see her. Then I went on about how I have no friends and I just wanted to spend time with my best friend. Sorry for my pity party going on here.....I just miss my friends. So, Jessica and Missy....I miss you guys and wish there was a way to make distance shorter.

There is a Time for Everything

Timing is everything. There is an awesome section in the Bible that talks about that in such a wonderful, and poetic way. When I look back and think of all the times in my life I wanted this or that and maybe didn't get it......then, later, I did, I thought, boy "God has perfect timing!" Patience is also a virtue. It is something that we all must have. I have a lot of patience. Many of you know I am patiently waiting on something to change in my life, something to happen......and I just believe now more than ever, that patience and God's timing is everything. I have to trust that He has a master plan that includes a wonderful future for me and He knows just when I am ready for such things. I trust you Lord, and I am patiently waiting for that time when you give me the desires of my heart.....

A New Direction

I just returned from a very relaxing vacation on Edisto Island in South Carolina. It was nice, we were with friends and family. The biggest decision each day was the beach or the pool! What fun. The week before I left for vacation I got some heartbreaking news that a child I cared for so much passed away after a year and half of fighting. My heat breaks for the family who turned into being a great friend as they were in the hospital for over a year. Please pray for them.

I have officially started school again. Figures it started 3 days into my vacation. I'm taking online classes at Ohio University online. I am getting my Bachelor's Degree. I'm excited, however, I'm already feeling the work load. The classes are intense as they are just 5 short weeks long! I'm looking forward to this challenge!

My roommate offically moved out. I'm on my own here at the Jefferson Estate! In between running errands today I helped myself to the extra closet space! Anyone who knows me knows that I have WAY too many clothes! I returned to the shutters on my house being painted Ranch Red. Boy, it makes such a huge difference! With the new fence, landscaping and shutters it looks like a whole new home! I will be sure to post a before and after pic on my next post. I'm debating with myself if I should try to sell or not. At this point, I know I will not make a profit and will be lucky to break even. However, with the market the way it is, it may no even be worth the time and effort (especially for Kevin). We'll see?!

A Moment to Pray

Sometimes I just need some time to pause and to think......and really just to pray. God is good, I've said that a 1000 times before and truly believe that.....but sometimes, things happen that are just so heartbreaking, it hurts to think about. I can't say too much but there is a family whom I came to know and love who have now lost 2 children in 6 months....their only children. It's unbearable to even try to imagine what they are going through. It's amazing to read some of their journal posts because their faith in the Lord is unwaivering which is something I constantly pray for for them.....but geez....there are no words to even say, you just have to pray. And that is all you can do in situations such as these. It's been over a months since their last and final child passed and I still find them on my mind and in my prayers and on my heart daily. They are not the only ones I have witnessed go thru heartache....everyday I see heartbreaking story after heart-wrenching story. I suppose it makes me thankful for what I have and makes me realize life is short and can change in an instant. SO.....hug your kids and people you love a little closer and try to live each day to the fullest, because you never know which one could be the last one!

What it means to own a home....

What it means to own a home......is WORK! Constant work: yard work, cleaning, repairs, problems.....yuck! I'm tired of it! I have decided in the recent months that I will try to sell my home in July. With this decision has come a lot of work that I have been putting off for a while. Don't get me wrong, I have done a TON of work on my house over the years making some much needed improvements but just getting done with the little, pesky stuff I've been putting off is a pain! Especially when it is beautiful outside and I want to go to the pool instead. Currently, I'm working on my mud room (something that I've been working on for about 2 weeks!) I had a neighbor who is a great handy man come and put a new sticky tile floor down (which made a HUGE difference), I painted paneling which to my surprise looked great! Now I'm just finishing up painting the ceiling, base boards and doors white.....not fun! Next up, finish landscaping. It's been about a month or so since I cut down a hybrid japanese maple in my front yard and ripped up all the plants....so now, it is just a bed full of dirt that needs to be tilled and more stuff planted, so that is on the agenda for tomorrow! (with the help of my fav hunnie, Kevin....he rocks!) My handyman is scheduled to paint my shutters, fix some concrete on my porch and put some quarter-round up in two rooms. Then I have to paint my stairway going upstairs and the 2nd floor bathroom....THEN....I may be done....we'll see? Geez....now that it is all written down I have a lot of work to do by July! Today I was outside in the muggy heat trimming bushes, spraying round up and pruning my hybrid rose bush....hopefully it will make it, I really butchered it!! SO....for the wonderful world of homeowners....you know how I feel!!

My first blog!

So, I'm not quite sure what brought me to start a blog, but here I am none the less! I'm currently at work right now and it looks to be a long night ahead as my assignment is a light one! By the way....have I mentioned I LOVE my job? It is so rewarding. I feel like I have been running in circles for years chasing this, that and the other when all along I know God called me to be a nurse. I think it stemed my childhood struggle with cancer (which I beat the odds on, thanks to God). I thought then, 'I wanna be a nurse when I grow up'......but then I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, a singer/performer, a in-home daycare worker.....and a host of other things I am sure. It wasn't until just a few years ago I figured out that I had what it takes to persue nursing. I have been accused of 'having a bleeding heart' all my life. You could always find me giving the poor money, helping the local poor soul....everything, I always wanted to help people. I thought at one point while in college about joining the Peace Corp. So here I was: bartending at a local sports bar and being a nanny. Then Kevin comes along and questions what I wanted to do with my life. At the time, I thought I was content to stay put, but soon realized that it was probably better to do more with my life than that. However, Kevin believed in me, and in the beginning I'm not sure I believe in myself. He pushed and encouraged me and I'm so thankful for that. A few years later I am FINALLY where God called me and am loving every minute of it. I finally feel content like this is what I was supposed to do! I feel it in the tender moments when a parent is so broken and hurt and I am able to pray with them. Or when I'm there to just lend an ear, a shoulder, or just a 'normal' conversation. Yes, God has blessed me with being able to be where I need to be just at the right time. I cherish the relationships I have been able to make through my job. If it was just one night or many months, I am thankful for those God puts in my path. There is still not a day that goes by when I do not bow my head in prayer for some of the families and children I have met in this journey. Well.....that's all for now I guess?! (Not bad for my first blog, huh?!)